Shame dies where stories are told in safe places. Where we witness with compassion, validate through embodiment, and educate with the right amount of relevant information.
Sometimes people feel great relief from being really witnessed by a friend. That in itself is so immensely powerful. So they assume that going to therapy or getting support from a holistic practitioner is basically that.
It’s a little bit like that. In that I sincerely hope my clients leave our session feeling seen and understood. That they feel that their vulnerability was reciprocated with positive regard. And that they feel lighter for having it talked through.
All my work is heavy in presence, especially the doula work. But it also has less obvious components. Doulas listen to what’s not being said. They consider socio-culturual context to a person’s experience, they introduce tiny snippets of relevant information to make an intense experience seem less unpredictable or abstract. They continuously practice regulating themselves. They step in as practice humans to try out relationships and ways of being with one another that are not the norm (yet).
There are many tools and approaches considered. There is a strategy held loosely, moving towards a point of resolve , so that life can continue in softer ways. There are countless hours in supervision and ongoing training. Endless moments of micro learning. And a commitment to step out of my personal perspective and into wider service.
It takes so much ongoing preparation for that hour, or session, to be what it is. And then afterwards there’s a whole host of reflections. What have I learned? What could I do better? What might I need to build on or rectify? What could I look into to be better prepared next time?
Journeying with the thresholds in life is full on. It’s all consuming in a way. It’s also immensely rewarding.
I’m grateful that it’s such a big part of my life. It really is at the heart of my activism. I hope it changes many of the stories we once had to tell.
Grá
#death #doula #trauma #counseling #musings